The Long Break

It's been months since the last posting. I do not know what made me stop writing for a while. Busy with work? Pregnancy? Managing family? Perhaps all of them. I went through many phases of life in the past few months. Things were really bad around July, August and September 2006. My health was at stake and my work performance went down the hill. At times, I do have regrets but I do not wish to mention what are they. They aren't something that should be said out loud.

Right now, am resting at home and waiting for the baby to arrive. I've been counting the hours and days for the big day. It's really tiring nowadays and the sleepless nights are really disturbing.

During this pregnancy, I was tested to the utmost and I believe there was/is 'hikmah' behind the tests. The sickness lasted for 7 months, I moved to a new house during 7th month of my pregnancy and my maid went back for good after christmas and I did not have any maid until a week ago. There was a maid which was sent to me on new year but I sent her off 4 days later. The latest maid just came in and we almost sent her off too as she doesn't want to stay for 2 years. Apparently, she doesn't feel comfortable with Q.

I noticed that Q is getting naughtier nowadays. I guess she could sense that she will have to share us soon with the little one and trying very hard to get all the attention now. But I do believe that it's just a matter of time. Eventually, things will be smoother and on the right track. I also believe that this maid would be fine with the correct guidance. But of course it's really though during this period.

Abg is now attached in PJ. Alhamdulillah... our prayers have been answered. He started on new year and I do not have to worry about lots of things now. We have decided that I will deliver the baby in Putrajaya Hospital instead of SMC. Why? Of course cost constraint. If I were to deliver in SMC, there is high possibility that I might have to go through C- Sec instead of normal delivery as my baby is slightly bigger. And the cost definitely will be huge, RM7K??? Ridiculous isn't it?

I have an appointment this coming Tuesday and looks like I have to drive myself there as Abg will be working then. It's really hard for him to take time off or any leave as he's new. Wonder what will happen then. The last time I drove last week, I had a minor contraction. Hehehe... who knows, I might be driving straight into the labor room on Tuesday.

The preparation for the baby has been completed since 2 weeks ago. Bought quite a number of new stuff. I think this baby does have more things compared to Q. Situation was pretty tight during that time. But subsequent to her birth, our lives has been pretty good and get better each year. Alhamdulillah...

Alhamdulillah...

My eyes are heavy…I wonder what makes me so sleepy. It’s just half past 9 now. Since early of this week I’ve been going to bed around 8:30pm. And of course I will have to go to toilet like 5 or 6 times during the night.

Am starting to have cramps in my left leg. I know it will be worst later during the 3rd trimester.

I was pretty lay back in the office for the past few days. Most of my colleagues went back to HQ. Next week I will have to attend a training session for 2 days and it’s in town. Arghh… really hate to drive in town. Still contemplating whether I should the LRT or drive there. Anyway, we will get vouchers for ‘buka puasa’ at the hotel. Not too bad huh!

Talking about ‘puasa’, I only managed to fast for 4 days. The first day was hard but it gets harder each day. This is totally opposite with usual situation where it’s supposed to get easier each day. I guess it was due to my gastric and blotted stomach. The 3rd day I vomited really bad. My mom convinced me not to proceed with the fasting as it might get worse. 4 days later, I tried to fast again. It was on Sunday. Alhamdulillah I made it. But when I tried to fast the next day, I had the same problem. At the end I only made it half day.

Q has fully recovered from her fever and becoming more cheerful today. But I noticed that she could easily cry. She cries over small things…and it could happen continuously for like 30 mins. She even cries when I said ‘don’t do…’ or ‘why are you ….’ It’s really weird though. And I notice it just started these 2 days. Am wondering if it is because of the little one. Does she feel disturbed? Unsecured perhaps? I admit that these days, I could easily lose my temper, doesn’t matter how hard I try to control it.

Abg will be arriving in the morning. We might end up ‘bersahur’ in McD as he might arrive around 4:30am. He’s been back for consecutive weekends and he will be back again next week. I know, he’s tired but I like it though. To be able to see him that frequent. J

I’ve yawned 3 times in the past 5 mins. I really need to be in bed now.

Almost 4 Months Later...

It has been almost 4 months now...Tried a couple of times to update the blog but just couldn't do it for many unexplainable reasons.

Am in my 21 weeks of pregnancy now...2nd trimester. When I was in Brazil, it never occured to me that I could be pregnant then. After all those nausea and miserable, it still didn’t cross my mind that am with a baby.

3 weeks after the trip, the nausea and blotted stomach didn’t stop. My colleagues forced me to go for a check up. At the end, I decided to get the pregnancy test kit and did self check up. It’s positive!

I was stunned and happy. My husband even more excited than I was. We took off to the hospital the very next day to confirm the result. Alhamdullilah… I was 6 weeks pregnant then.

The past 3 months were not an easy period for me. I had to go through all sort of pregnancy sickness and sleepless nights. Work didn’t help much. I was under great stress and had to be on pills for almost 4 months. Alhamdulillah…it’s all in the past now.

During this Ramadhan al Mubarak, I feel much better and believe Allah has given me more strength. Am thankful to HIM for all that HE has given me.

Q is very much excited knowing she will have a little one to play with soon. I know that she will be a very loving sister. But I know I will be very busy later …dealing with her and the baby. But it makes me thrill…it doesn’t matter if it’s a boy or girl. I just wanted healthy ones. Insya Allah…

Talking about healthy ones, Q is down with fevers for the past 3 nites. She makes me so worry with her high temps. 40.2 celcius for 2 nites in a row. She will be having a concert/school play on Saturday, I know she’s really looking forward to the event and it’s a pity if she can’t make it later. Just called home a few minutes ago (while writing about her, just thought of checking on her). Alhamdulillah, according to bibik, she looks better and she’s sleeping. Must be the drowsiness of the medicine that led her to sleep.

Salty...Salty...Salty

We were so excited counting the days to go home. We only had 2 days to go and we will be on our way back home to our love ones. We are ok with the works but we are not ok with the foods. M is already skinny enough to us and she has reduced some more weights. As for my self and H, we did too but not too significant. The foods here made us craving for Nasi Lemak and Roti Canai. Oh dear… my stomach is singing right now, I would do anything to get those food now!

Today, a bombshell dropped on us! The hunk told us that they need us to stay back until next Wednesday as they need our expertise to help the local SME with their scope. Arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!! I didn’t know how to tell the girls about this as M is dying to see her fiancé and H is missing her kids terribly. And myself… I want to go home to my baby and hubby!!!

With that, we have lost the mood to work and to even go for dinner. All 3 of us grumbled through out the night and also the following days… whining about the extended stay. This is the most painful trip I ever been made even though I’ve been away from home longer than this before. It’s just mentally torturing. We were supposed to go for a dinner with the hunk and the girlfriend but we cancelled it as none of us have the appetite to eat.

We ended up having dinner at the hotel restaurante. Too bad there’s nothing much we could choose from the menu. We were left with no choice but to order this ‘Pad Thai’. It was noodles with shrimp. We are sicked and tired with Pizza. Can’t shove that thing into our throat again.

To add to our disappointment, the food was so damn salty until I almost had a brain concussion while chewing and trying to swallow it. We returned the food to the chef and told him that we couldn’t eat it totally. And to tell him about the saltiness, took us a whole 15 mins talking like chicken and duck again. After 20 mins, the food arrived again and it was still salty ! No better than earlier. Suddenly all of us didn’t feel like eating anymore. We decided to leave and perhaps have a Maggie Mee later in the room. It was so frustrating!

As I thought, I ended up went to bed with hungry stomach after did some paper work. It’s another week before we could go home….. arghhhhhhhh….!!!!))&&^%$#@@@$