Does all man think the same?

Last Friday...when I was "forced" to stay at work till 11pm and was still online on YM, I came acrossed an old good friend who said something to me that makes me ponder for two nights now.

He said something along the line...if he were to be married to me, he would have looked for another wife long time ago ! He thinks that I spend too much time at work and that I might have neglected my duty as a wife and mother.

Does all man think the same? Does my hubby think so too?

Work Life Balance

I started on this piece on 4Th April and yet till today I had difficulties to get it over with. I was quite hesitate to publish it for some unknown reason (what a lame excuse!). So, after almost 2 weeks, I decided to push it through...and here it goes....
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I've been home late...sometimes very late (of course not as late as my beloved hubby..he he). There were times, when I got home the kids were in bed, which means - I only saw my daughter for an hour on that day and my son maybe a bit more, around 3 hours or so.

And as usual, to make it up to them...I would wake up early before 6am to prepare breakfast and meals for the rest of the day. I do this everyday even though almost every single day too I stay up late to finish my work. Yes! I know what some people might say to this....I'm so ANAL!

Yes.. I know. I’m so anal! All my team mates never failed in reminding me of that. I need to let things go…and I tried, trust me… I really tried. But it gave me nightmares. Nightmares of things falling apart at work and nightmares of figures, documents and people. Whenever I managed to leave work after Maghrib prayers, I would ensure that I didn’t work again from home until my kids were in bed. At times, it means after midnight.

See, I have a simple equation to all this which I believe would works:

Leave work by 8.30pm, should be home at latest by 9 (although lately it was very much later) and still would be able to spend time with my daughter at least another hour or so and with my son for another 2 hrs (these few days, I missed them) . After the kids go to bed, I stay up to try to finish my work as much as possible for another 2 or 3 hours (the only thing I managed to do without fail lately!). Then off to bed myself and wake up around 5.45am to cook and spend more time with the kids.

Sounds simple right? But at the end of the day...Iwas the one who suffered. I sleep between 3 to 4 hours everyday and rely so much on "my-so-called-energy-booster".

Guilty? Don't mention it... I had that feeling almost on daily basis now. I tried to forget about work and wanted to pack and leave. But again, each time I didn’t manage to get myself to do it. Especially when there are people in the project who are impacted by my deliverables. At the same time, I hate myself for not be able to make up time for my family during the weekdays.

The thing was, this is not the only time I’m in such a mess. It happened before in my previous employment. I had equal ( or was it worst?) madness and my body just collapsed! The whole incident impacted my loved ones badly. At that time, I had to choose between career and family. I let my career go...and moved on with my loved ones.

Anyway….
I don’t know how much long I could last with this madness.
I don’t know how much more I could take it
Without physically, emotionally and mentally impacted
(the signs are definitely visible now!)

When the offer came, I could not hold myself up…
I could almost kiss her for opening another door for me…
A way out from this madness…
Patience is what I need, just a bit more… a month or two
And I will be able to have that "s0-called-work-life-balance"

Maid story...

I thought this one would be better
But who knows she's no better
I thought at least it will be 2 years
But she wants to leave after 1 year

I believe that's very selfish of her
Eventhough she said she wants to cure the ear
Which is the reason for her early departure
But I know, that's just another lame excuse coming from her

I made a generous offer
Willing to bear the cost of the surgery
but only God knows what's in that head of hers
She turned it down and leave me in misery

My child is very sicked...that's her last
Of course that was not the first
And I never expected that it would be the last
One excuse after another
So, this time no different right?
But could this be the last?
Pls anyone, tell me why should I now believe her?

Well... she decided to leave NOW
I told her it's not that easy
But without saying it out loud..
I realized it means another round of maid hunting!

Like Mommy, Like Daughter?

While waiting for my son to reach the "dreamland", here I am putting up the 2nd entry for tonight (the 1st one just a wrap-up of something which I started on Sunday) .Still in my office clothes...I decided to let my fingers decide what to type. I have nothing specific in mind to blog abt.

Hmmm...Ok, I have this mixed feeling tonight which I could not explain. When I was working on my last couple of emails in the office at 9.45p.m just now...I was worried that I would not be able to catch my daughter before she goes to sleep. And yet... I stayed until 10.05p.m to finish the emails?!! I drove faster than I normally do as I can't ignore the guiltiness anymore. But the funny thing was, I called home while I was driving and told my daughter to go to bed straight away. Warned her not to wait for me as am afraid that she will not have enough sleep. Yet deep inside, I want her to. Did I sound like a pyscho mom?

Anyway, when I got home at 10.35 p.m ,there she was... smiling away at the door. She actually came out from her room when she heard me opened up the door. While I was putting away my stuff, she handed me some papers. They were some of her recent early term tests score. OMG! I was sooooooooo proud of her. She got A for BM, BI and Sc. And she gave me a BONUS too... she saved all her pocket money today!!!!!. I was almost in tears and gave her big kisses. Then I heard "It's just another day right? I can go to Siti's house on Friday?", she asked. She was trying to pyscho me while I was just about to congratulate myself as I thought my latest strategy works on her!!! That's my dear Q!

Btw, almost all my colleagues think that she's just like me. Usually, I would deny them all.. but then tonight for once, I think they might be right! Oh dear... I do not know if I could put up to her next 15 years! She is as smart as I am! Hahaha...

It's 12.05a.m and hubby still away at work! According to him, he will be back by midnite...which is about now. But I doubt he will be on time...by the sound of it (when I spoke to him earlier this evening), I think he will be back around 2 a.m, earliest. That's my beloved hubby! Always work like there's no tomorrow huh!

Tired...signing off..zzzzzzzz!