Life Goes On

Life goes on...A common phrase in our life. My life does go on without any entry here for a couple of moons now. Nevertheless, ton of things happened. Lets do a quick flashback...

My little one was admitted in hospital for 9 days due to Cellulitis on the back of his left calf. He had to go through a surgery and the wound was left opened. It requires daily dressing and we are still commuting back and forth to the hospital now for his daily dressing.

My fridge broke down again for the 2nd time within 4 months. We decided, it's too expensive to send in for repair and go with a brand new instead which costs us more than RM2K! The sad part is the broken one was sold off at RM50 ONLY!!! Felt like pulling my hair out but kept telling myself...to just let it go. Afterall, it has been 8 years old, eventhough hubby said it should have lasted for another 2 years.

My kitchen renovation should have taken place this week but I have to postpone it for the 2nd time due to my children's health. Q is down with fever and of course the brother's open wound doesn't help much. Thought of having the contractor to come in a week after, but it will be Ramadhan! Thus, it has to be after Eid! Arghhh...can't believe that after months of planning, I have to wait a couple of months long again just to get the sink top fixed.

At least, there's something good I could mentioned here...I have at last managed to come out with some sample of cookies. My sis has been asking for them for months now. Not that I do not want to make any but with the sagas of my life for the past couple of months... I just couldn't find the time to make them. And as I was baking them, I thought that I might as well bake some for hubby's and myself. My first attempt to really venture into baking business. Can't wait to see the response from others. Erkkk or to be more specific... NERVOUS!

Am back stationed at the office after 4.5 years being at client's site. It feels a bit different and I still have to get my head around it. But honestly, it doesn't feel that great..in fact I think I'm more stressed now than before. Why??? Hmmm...I believe, it has been fated that I have to work hard for the rest of my life? No?... Sounds crappy isn't it? LOL.

A letter to Hubby on 8th Anniversary

My dear beloved hubby,

Wow...time really flies. We've been married for 8 years??? (Thought it was longer than that ... hahahah *just kidding!).

Anyway, I want you to know that it has been a very wonderful and lovely 8th years of marriage. I never gave any thought on what kind of marriage I look for but one thing that I am sure of is... this is the marriage that I want and happy with. It's normal to have opposite views and things like that which sometimes could lead to small little tiny fights but I guess what counts is the love that we share.

Btw, thanks for the most beautiful & biggest bouquet of flowers I ever received! They're really lovely ( but you should have bought a vase for it too..hehe).

Thank you so much for your love and patience. I look forward to celebrating our 50th Anniversary in 42 years (if we are still around, of course! Hehe..).

Loves
Your-talk-too-much-but-kind-hearted-wife. ;-)

Does all man think the same?

Last Friday...when I was "forced" to stay at work till 11pm and was still online on YM, I came acrossed an old good friend who said something to me that makes me ponder for two nights now.

He said something along the line...if he were to be married to me, he would have looked for another wife long time ago ! He thinks that I spend too much time at work and that I might have neglected my duty as a wife and mother.

Does all man think the same? Does my hubby think so too?

Work Life Balance

I started on this piece on 4Th April and yet till today I had difficulties to get it over with. I was quite hesitate to publish it for some unknown reason (what a lame excuse!). So, after almost 2 weeks, I decided to push it through...and here it goes....
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I've been home late...sometimes very late (of course not as late as my beloved hubby..he he). There were times, when I got home the kids were in bed, which means - I only saw my daughter for an hour on that day and my son maybe a bit more, around 3 hours or so.

And as usual, to make it up to them...I would wake up early before 6am to prepare breakfast and meals for the rest of the day. I do this everyday even though almost every single day too I stay up late to finish my work. Yes! I know what some people might say to this....I'm so ANAL!

Yes.. I know. I’m so anal! All my team mates never failed in reminding me of that. I need to let things go…and I tried, trust me… I really tried. But it gave me nightmares. Nightmares of things falling apart at work and nightmares of figures, documents and people. Whenever I managed to leave work after Maghrib prayers, I would ensure that I didn’t work again from home until my kids were in bed. At times, it means after midnight.

See, I have a simple equation to all this which I believe would works:

Leave work by 8.30pm, should be home at latest by 9 (although lately it was very much later) and still would be able to spend time with my daughter at least another hour or so and with my son for another 2 hrs (these few days, I missed them) . After the kids go to bed, I stay up to try to finish my work as much as possible for another 2 or 3 hours (the only thing I managed to do without fail lately!). Then off to bed myself and wake up around 5.45am to cook and spend more time with the kids.

Sounds simple right? But at the end of the day...Iwas the one who suffered. I sleep between 3 to 4 hours everyday and rely so much on "my-so-called-energy-booster".

Guilty? Don't mention it... I had that feeling almost on daily basis now. I tried to forget about work and wanted to pack and leave. But again, each time I didn’t manage to get myself to do it. Especially when there are people in the project who are impacted by my deliverables. At the same time, I hate myself for not be able to make up time for my family during the weekdays.

The thing was, this is not the only time I’m in such a mess. It happened before in my previous employment. I had equal ( or was it worst?) madness and my body just collapsed! The whole incident impacted my loved ones badly. At that time, I had to choose between career and family. I let my career go...and moved on with my loved ones.

Anyway….
I don’t know how much long I could last with this madness.
I don’t know how much more I could take it
Without physically, emotionally and mentally impacted
(the signs are definitely visible now!)

When the offer came, I could not hold myself up…
I could almost kiss her for opening another door for me…
A way out from this madness…
Patience is what I need, just a bit more… a month or two
And I will be able to have that "s0-called-work-life-balance"